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Topic Title: Can't retain unique identity without hair
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Created On: 11/19/2014 06:10 PM
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 11/19/2014 06:10 PM
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Albie1
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Posts: 489
Joined: 07/16/2012

Watching my NW2 and already-giant forehead creep closer to NW3 territory by the month, I can't help but reflect on my past. I'm only 24, but now that I've met my soul-mate and feel some stability in my life, I'm reminded that just a few years ago I was in a band, and had long hair and piercings. I loved being complimented on my clothes and asked who my favorite bands are.

I always wanted to be one of those cool middle aged men with a gray ponytail who paints landscapes or writes movie scripts. When I think of myself as a bald man, it just seems like such a disservice to my identity and talents. I've never been one of those alpha males, but I feel like when I was younger people found me interesting in all my shy weirdness, now with my short hair I don't have as much to endear me to people.

I know I can probably never grow my hair out again because there are no flattering 'in-between' styles for receding hairlines. So here I am with my boring pseudo-combover, and soon to be the bald guy (and quite ugly at that). If I succeed in life as a designer, or a musician, or a writer, I'll just be 'that bald guy' who does something well. It's *****ed up how society has made us. Sometimes I want to be different again. I know it's not central to my very existence, but I wish I could just grow my hair back and it look amazing.

I see people going on about where no hair will land you with the ladies. That's not a concern of mine, and I hate to tell you, the concerns don't end there. Whether it's in the workforce, with friends, at the clubs or anywhere else, if you're not happy with yourself, you'll find other reasons to preoccupy yourself with those image-related thoughts.

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CURRENT:
Sulfasalazine 1g daily
Ketoconazole 2% shampoo
Adenovital (Adenosine 0.75%) daily

FAIL BASKET:
Finasteride (side effects)
Neogenic (did nothing)
Tacrolimus (did nothing)
 11/22/2014 04:59 AM
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Cait-
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Joined: 11/22/2014

Hello,

Bless you, it's awful hearing how much this is upsetting you and affecting you in your life. It's an awful situation and it's not fair that this is happening to you. But please know that the majority of people are actually nice, kind, caring people who have a lot more to them than just caring about people's hair. It's difficult to remember that sometimes but I completely understand how you feel as I am a 27 year old girl who has recently just stopped wearing wigs after having ridiculously thin hair for 6ish years. My hairs kind of recovered now, but my experience has really taught me that though it can feel like not having hair is this massive thing at the time, it's really not! I fell in love with someone whilst wearing wigs, have a really good career and good friends, and I'm doing a part-time Masters - all things that I was able to achieve whilst wearing a wig. I know it's not exactly the same as your situation, but please find a way to be happy with yourself. You sound like a really interesting guy, and you've got someone who loves you, so you need to find a way to love yourself (sorry for the cheesiness there lol . For me and a lot of my girl friends, we love men who are confident and interesting and have a great sense of humour and have a good body (!!!).... so there have been men we've fancied who haven't even got any hair, simply because they project a lot of masculinity and are fun to be around. My boyfriend now is actually thinning and I wouldn't even think twice about it as he has all these other things going for him that make me love him.

Anyways, All the best
Caitlin
 09/04/2015 09:26 PM
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Aztec
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Hang in there Albie, it's great to hear you found yourself a nice gal! In terms of hair loss have you considered doing an FUE hair transplant? How extensive is your hair loss?

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07/2013 1 FUT strip surgery = garbage results and one strip scar

11/25/14 456 FUE scalp grafts into scar with Dr. John Cole = excellent results

10/08/15 second round of scar grafting with Dr. Cole 300 grafts
 09/09/2015 08:16 AM
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Albie1
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Joined: 07/16/2012

I just returned to this thread today after I noticed how much ground I've been losing in the last 10 months.

I would consider a transplant, but I refuse to take fin ever again and don't know where that will leave me in 5-10 years. Still worth it? I have had very good experiences with cosmetic surgeons in Thailand (not the cheap ones) - does anyone know of any good HT surgeons in Bangkok?

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CURRENT:
Sulfasalazine 1g daily
Ketoconazole 2% shampoo
Adenovital (Adenosine 0.75%) daily

FAIL BASKET:
Finasteride (side effects)
Neogenic (did nothing)
Tacrolimus (did nothing)
 09/11/2015 09:13 PM
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Aztec
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Glad you're back Albie1. Good idea, stay away from fin. Keep your current regimen and consult with great FUE surgeons. There are only a handful I like and they are not in Thailand. Go to Belgium and you will be happy. Shoot an email to Dr. Bisanga which is a great place to start. He will offer you some solid feedback and do plenty of research. Hair transplants are not a game.

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07/2013 1 FUT strip surgery = garbage results and one strip scar

11/25/14 456 FUE scalp grafts into scar with Dr. John Cole = excellent results

10/08/15 second round of scar grafting with Dr. Cole 300 grafts
 09/23/2015 07:46 PM
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4myfuture
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Joined: 07/25/2014

Albie,

I think I see what your saying...Aside from not looking your best, you were specifically a hair guy..Basically, your one of those guys with the long hair more so than the short haired tough guy type..The tough guy type with muscles does fair better with baldness...First, the whole persona isnt effected by the thinning because the edge was always driven by masculinity, which may actually be enhanced through baldness..Second, the short look can just keep getting shorter and offers a gradual transition to completely shaved or buzzed...

I guess Im trapped between the two but probably more so ladder...Im 35 and married and I can say that this still bothers you to an extent..I married an attractive woman but I still care about losing my hair...However, Im still happy for the most part..I know I can treat my hair and I have other interests and ambitions...Its just one of those things and I always catch myself admiring older guys that kept all of their hair...I wonder what that would have been like to never have worried about how your hair looks..One thing I can say is that as Ive grown older I see many confident charismatic guys that managed this even with baldness..Life is what you make it and you should do whatever it takes to make yourself happy....Im sure many of the rockers that you envy actually have had work done or wear systems...You just dont know because your not that close to them to notice...You can always do that at some poimt in the future...

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Foam - 1x per day
 10/24/2015 10:52 AM
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crowngarden
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Albie1, Don't get a transplant. You'll never regain that heavy metal rocker/hippie head of hair. It will just be one of those thin whispy long hair that make you look 10 years older. You can still be a unique artist type with no hair. How unique are you willing to get? What about head tattoos? And I don't mean tattooing fake hair. I mean designs. Although you better have great job security to take that risk.
 11/08/2015 02:40 AM
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SuicidalTraveler
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Use a CRTh2 antagonist. Regrow with proven experimentals.
 11/27/2015 02:49 PM
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McCormac
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Joined: 11/23/2015

SuicdalT, can you elaborate?
 09/28/2016 07:25 AM
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briangreen
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Joined: 09/28/2016

Just wandering if you'd had the hair transplant you mentioned? If yes, how did it work? I also started losing my hair about a year ago and i'm afraid it will all fall. I had such a great thick hair. I don't even know why it keeps falling. As far as I know, I'm healthy and i also work out a lot, but not taking any steroids or things like this though. Did you find any solutions? I'm just looking up on various forums to see what other people are doing with this...
 10/08/2016 06:33 PM
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Albie1
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Joined: 07/16/2012

I can't afford a transplant, and I don't know that I trust them enough anyway. I'm so far beyond getting my long hair back, although that would be the one thing that might bring me some joy again. What I want right now is to look in the mirror and not see a combover. I just wish my hair was dense enough to cover the frontal hairline without being able to see through to the temples under harsh light. But I don't know why I'm entertaining these thoughts anyway... In 5-10 years time when I look like every bald man who was also misfortunate enough to have been born ugly, it won't matter anymore. It just makes me so mad! Why me? Why did someone who was so ugly to start with, also have to start going bald at 17? It's like the ugly duckling growing up into a big, stinking turd. Such a cruel trick to play on someone! I'm tired of being resilient and positive, spreading a message I don't even believe in myself.

I look like absolute shit. Ugly face, receding hairline, random 'strips' of hairloss beneath my crown. Disgusting. I spent thousands of dollars on plastic surgery years ago, and I still look worse than everyone around me. And I have a skin condition that looks like rosacea but isn't, and it never improves. It's been like, 8 years now with every treatment under the sun tried. I'm sick of running around pretending I'm a happy person when I just feel like such a piece of trash. I've never had confidence, and it's so hard to keep working on myself when I feel as though there's no foundation upon which to build any real self-worth. I HAVE NOTHING TO BE CONFIDENT ABOUT. Not looks, not achievements, not intelligence, not personality, NOTHING. I've pretty much returned to how I felt as a teenager, which is that I'm in the lower 5-10% of the population regarding physical appearance. People must really pity me.

So when I can't look someone in the eye as I'm talking to them, I hope they understand it's because I don't see myself as an equal human being. There is no band-aid big enough; not positivity, not perspective. This is the society I live in, and I'm completely incompatible. God better be saving an incredible reward for me in the afterlife, because this life has been pretty damn shitty.

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CURRENT:
Sulfasalazine 1g daily
Ketoconazole 2% shampoo
Adenovital (Adenosine 0.75%) daily

FAIL BASKET:
Finasteride (side effects)
Neogenic (did nothing)
Tacrolimus (did nothing)
 08/13/2017 03:10 PM
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hairhope4ever
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Posts: 60
Joined: 03/02/2017

I can empathize with your sentiments. However, my insecurity and depression led to me making some miscalculated and misinformed surgical decisions when I was young which had a more negative impact before their failure. Long story short, there are ethical doctors out there who can produce great results. This is what doctor Umar was able to do for me despite me being a major repair case, and it is why I have another procedure with him in October to complete my "journey.


Do not give up hope, and do not do things out desperation, for there are too many sharks preying on victims in this industry. Save your money, and wait longer, for doing that, and choosing a reputable surgeon will reap many benefits.

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Happy Patient

Read about my positive hair transplant experiences here:
http://hairtransplanttestimonial.blogspot.com/
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